tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-324667762024-03-07T18:52:52.772-08:00apocalipstick tracesi would like enough time to mix a stiff drink before the world ends.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-2049224201009201832010-08-14T09:53:00.000-07:002010-08-14T10:01:27.340-07:00an erection lasting longer than four hours<p>The new poll at Right Wing News of the 100 Worst Figures in American History led me to this thought:</p><p>How empty are the lives of these people?</p><p>I'm fifty years old now. I have a daughter in high school. I have parents who are in their seventies, and their health (my dad's in particular) is a concern. I have a niece in college, a couple more in high school, nieces and nephews in elementary and middle school. My wife is considering her retirement options. I'm trying finish the book I'm currently reading and keep up with <em>The New Yorker</em> and <em>Guitar Player</em> and <em>Vintage Guitar</em> and whether I'll be able to go to Tuesday's pickin' session. I'm planning the menu for the week and scheduling the trip to the farmer's market.</p><p>George Bush was the worst president of my life (yes, even worse than Nixon, on the grounds that falling in shit is worse than stepping in it), maybe the worst in American history, but I hardly spend a second of my day remembering him or seething at his perfidy.</p><p>So how empty, lost and alone are these people that after nearly forty years they can still keep a hate hard-on for Jimmy Carter?</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-69673472746152289812009-03-12T20:25:00.000-07:002009-03-12T20:41:21.706-07:00if you're jim cramer...<p>...how do you not go home tonight and put your head in the oven?</p><p>Lord, that was a brutal beat-down.</p><p>Oh, and everyone who thinks Stewart should scream and shout and <em>try</em> to rip people a new one should shut up and watch him. Not only did he pin Cramer to the wall, his approach removed the possibility of that bald-headed, bald-faced schmuck deflecting the points raised by calling "foul" on Stewart's comportment.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-2036336641792247042009-02-15T15:49:00.001-08:002009-02-15T16:08:12.391-08:00ye godsFor the last two weeks, the members of the panel on ESPN's <span style="font-style: italic;">The Sports Reporters</span> have breathlessly clutched their pearls as they consider the Alex Rodrigues revelations. Much pissing and moaning has ensued over "the purity of the game." "How," these stalwarts (I'm looking at you, Mike Lupica) ask, "how can we <span style="font-style: italic;">believe</span> in anything anymore?"<br /><br />Stow it, Mary<sup>TM <a href="http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2009_01_18_archive.html">Roy Edroso</a></sup>. This is baseball. It's part of the entertainment industry. You guys convicted Barry Bonds whilst having sportsgasms over Roger Clemens, when anyone with one functioning eye could see that whatever one of those two guys was doing was identical to the training regimen of the other. Your kids need purity in <span style="font-style: italic;">baseball</span> (now frolicking on the field of dreams--the racist Ty Cobb, the whoremongering Babe Ruth, the drunken <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> whoremongering Mickey Mantle... the list goes on, as long as you want to make it) to grow up and be productive citizens? You are the worst fathers ever.<br /><br />Besides, who cares what these emotionally stunted gasbags (I'm looking at you, Michael Kay) think? These are the idiots who hold annual debates about "the greatest player ever" and cannot see the truth that is plainly evident to anyone who ever watched more than ten games: Willie Mays.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-520330776437511612009-01-28T20:42:00.000-08:002009-01-28T20:56:12.585-08:00i guess the cabbie can't help you now, can he?NPR's <span style="font-style: italic;">All Things Considered</span> did a feature on the Davos meeting tonight, and guess who Michele Norris asked for his sage advice about this august gathering?<br /><br />Tom Friedman.<br /><br />That's right. The promoter of blowjob foreign policy ("Suck. On. This."). The namesake of the Friedman Unit. Bloviator supreme. Or bloviator-in-chief. Either one works. Terrible writer and blinkered thinker. You know the guy. Anyway, Norris tosses the question of the economic crisis to Friedman who responds, <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=99978828">"There's almost an urgency of people trying to find 'The Answer' right now, and I'm not sure the answer is here or anywhere, but people are sure looking for it."</a> You know what I wanted to scream at him?<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Why don't you ask your freakin' cab driver what to do, Tom! He always seems to have all the answers!"</span><br /><br />The thing that's most infuriating about Friedman's flatulent pronouncements is my belief that the only reason this matters to him is because the real-estate fortune which his wife is heir to has seen its value swirl down the bowl faster than my morning oatmeal. This is the same toadstool who thought globalization arose like a mist from the ground, rather than as the result of a conscious set of policies designed to let capital race around the world before labor could get its boots on.<br /><br />Does anyone need any further evidence beyond their reliance on Friedman and Cokie Roberts that NPR is about as "progressive" or "liberal" as Cotton Mather?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-4370749702738301122009-01-18T13:05:00.000-08:002009-01-18T13:28:40.435-08:00quick hits1. What is happening with the Eagles/Cardinals? Why are the Eagles so off-balance? Is Larry Fitzgerald some sort of alien life form? I think the praise for Kurt Warner might be tempered by the fact that he's throwing to Optimus Prime.<br /><br />2. <a href="http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=15830">John Cole</a> is pissed about the over-the-top coverage of Obama's trip to DC. I understand it, but I think John makes a mistake--yes, a lot of people are ecstatic about Obama, which lends a "Princess Di" feel to the whole thing, but a large part of the euphoria is just relief and jubilation that King Pretzel is leaving town. If Obama didn't show up until Thursday, I think a lot of the same feeling would prevail.<br /><br />3. Some cockwad named Matt Towery just gave the smuggest, oiliest speech of the young year on C-Span 2. Apparently he's written a book called <a href="http://www.booktv.org/program.aspx?ProgramId=10146&SectionName=Politics&PlayMedia=No"><span style="font-style: italic;">Paranoid Nation</span></a>. Can you guess his positions? Try this--the "left" is paranoid and, oh yeah, Obama will not prove he's anything more than a pretty face until he crushes the UAW. Hey, douchenozzle, why are the working-class the problem with this country? Not everyone can stand up with a dyed-blond Caesar haircut and just let the right-wing welfare roll in.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-23872067740372217412009-01-08T20:15:00.000-08:002009-01-08T20:21:55.741-08:00blurgI think that what pisses me off most about <span style="font-style: italic;">l'affaire</span> Roland Burris is something Harry Reed said on <span style="font-style: italic;">Meet the Press</span>: "We decide who sits in the Senate."<br /><br />Fuck you, Harry Reid. The people decide, and that's why this is really a travesty. The appointment process might have made sense when it was difficult, nigh impossible, to get the people together on short notice, but these days are not those days. A special election ain't that hard in 2009.<br /><br />So stuff your royal tendencies up your wrinkled ass, Harry. You're not the king <span style="font-style: italic;">or</span> the king-maker.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-68524536692733769902009-01-03T07:14:00.000-08:002009-01-03T07:17:17.674-08:00left behind?If you want to read a great deconstruction of the holiest document of all (at least to some fundamentalists), you should go <a href="http://slacktivist.typepad.com/slacktivist/left_behind/index.html">here</a>. Be warned; it's long and working through it will take some time. As a bonus, you'll laugh a <span style="font-style: italic;">lot</span>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-56203209449431094092009-01-02T16:11:00.000-08:002009-01-02T18:45:31.942-08:00let me direct you...to the <a href="http://kudzumonamour.blogspot.com/">blog</a> of a fantastic singer whom I discovered via CD Baby. Check out Queen Esther, and buy her <a href="http://cdbaby.com/cd/queenesther">album</a>. You'll feel happy and warm.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-17450026110039693302009-01-01T15:48:00.000-08:002009-01-01T15:52:05.815-08:00Hello, 2009!2008 sucked. My brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, my mom fell and broke her hip(necessitating replacement), my dad had two stints put in his chest, and my daughter came down with mono.<br /><br />Still, Barack Obama is now PEotUS, which gives us at least a small glimmer of a chance, and I've learned to bake three new kinds of bread. My brother is committed to his meds, little Stick is improving, and my mom and dad have rehabbed nicely. I suppose that balance prevails.<br /><br />I hope that 2009 is better for you than 2008.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-40646074280897168182008-08-16T17:11:00.000-07:002008-08-16T17:46:37.938-07:00GagTell you later why I've been gone so long, but first, this message:<br /><br />After watching the first ten minutes of the "Saddleback Civic Forum," I know what it feels like to be wiped down with a rag soaked in warm saliva. If this is what passes for probing questions from Coach... er, <span style="font-style: italic;">Pastor</span> Warren, then I can accurately forecast what we will learn tonight.<br /><br />Exactly zero.<br /><br />Warren is exhibiting a taste for the sort of mush-headed, quasi-profound banalities that make Rotary Clubs nationwide such hotbeds of excitement. I think Coach... er, <span style="font-style: italic;">Pastor</span><span> Warren believes that <a href="http://www.zigziglar.com/">Zig</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zig_Ziglar">Ziglar</a> would be the perfect Presidential candidate.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:32 (CDT)</span><br />When Warren asked what Supreme Court Justice would Obama <i>not</i> have nominated, Obama should have looked at him and said, "That's highly speculative and inappropriate and I'm not answering it."<br /><br />Where is Warren's <i>proof</i> that faith-based organizations do a better job? I volunteer for a religious NGO, and <i>we</i> don't claim that we do a better job of feeding hungry kids than UNICEF.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:35</span><br />Why would Saddleback need to take federal money? They're rich as stink. Another example of monied aristocrats.. excuse me, salt-of-the-earth <span style="font-style: italic;">real Americans</span> wanting to get their hands on gubmint money without any accountability.<br /><br />The minute someone can define how merit pay would work for teachers, I'll listen. Every proposal I've heard so far is just a thinly-disguised attempt to strip teachers of professional rights and standing.<br /><br />"Define 'rich'?" I thought there weren't going to be any <span style="font-style: italic;">gotcha</span> questions, Coach... er, <span style="font-style: italic;">Pastor</span> Warren.<br /><br />Hearty laughs for $150,000 being poor in Orange County. Assholes. Welcome to the OC. If you're making over $250,000 and you're not on easy street (or at least fairly comfortable street), then (to steal a page from the right wing) you're responsible for your own fate.<br /><br />I'm digging watching this on C-Span just to watch Saddleback's Hairclub for Men, failed '70's soft-rock band "worship team" perform... er, <i>minister</i> during the commercial breaks.<br /><br />BTW, IFC is showing <span style="font-style: italic;">Bowling for Columbine</span> at the same time. That means something, I'm not sure what.<br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-67878866942980170962007-08-28T18:33:00.000-07:002007-08-28T18:44:13.694-07:00wango tangoAs a musician and child of the late-70s/early 80s, it is depressing to watch Ted Nugent's complete descent into <a href="http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/">insanity</a>. Not because Ted was ever the most innovative guitarist, or the biggest star, or even a particular generational touchstone. He was, however, a reliable purveyor of goofy cock-rock anthems. His biggest contribution to my life was the realization that high amplification could really screw up your hearing. Maybe that's the Nuge's excuse--dimed Fender Twins will reduce your brain to mush.<br /><br />Combined with Jeff Baxter, another guitarist turned wingnut (it's worth noting that Baxter has <span style="font-style: italic;">no</span> academic credentials. His sole qualification is a paper that gave wingnut's wingnut Dana Rohrabacher a boner), Nugent is really making me think my parents were right. That music will rot your brain.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-88377104250932599432007-08-07T06:11:00.000-07:002007-08-07T06:36:19.164-07:00throwin' stuff at the wall<a href="http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/">Glenn Greenwald</a> and David Rivkin were on C-SPAN this morning. They were debating the latest evisceration of the fourth amendment. <br /><br />My senators voted for this travesty. I'm not surprised that Kit Bond did so. If George Bush ever hurtles over a cliff, the powerful suction his buttocks exert on Bond's face will drag the Kitster over as well. But Claire McCaskill? Claire, I voted for you just so you could vote <span style="font-style: italic;">against</span> this sort of thing. I knew Jim Talent had no spine, but what happened to you, Claire?<br /><br />Anyway, it occurred to me as I watched the exchange that very few people ever ask <span style="font-style: italic;">why</span> this administration needs or wants these powers. I think it's because they don't have any other idea.<br /><br />These are people who have botched everything they've touched. From the president who ran two oil companies into bankruptcy to the veep who drove down his company's stock price like a 28 oz. hammer smacking a #10 nail, to the graduates of a fourth-tier law school who profess to hate government, yet who are apparently only fit to serve as apparatchiks, this is an administration filled with people who have no idea what they are doing. John Ashcroft was my governor for two terms. I am no fan of many of Ashcroft's positions, but no one could accuse him of the sort of rank bumbling that characterizes our present federal system. These people are so fumbling, so lost, that they can't even make the simple linguistic and epistimelogical distinction between "terrorism" and "terror."<br /><br />To put it plainly, they have no idea how to stop terrorism. They have no idea what the first steps would be to actually identify and apprehend terrorists. One reason they decry the law enforcement approach (the only approach that has paid any dividends so far, I might add) to fighting terrorism is that it requires too much dedication and thought. They come from a corporate background, where the answer to every question is "more money and power to the CEO."<br /><br />That's why they want broad powers. They don't have any ideas or plans. Their best thought is "Hey, if we grab <span style="font-style: italic;">everything</span>, then surely we'll be able to figure out what's bad!!! Right?" And if they also find out stuff about people who oppose them, well, surely that's just gravy.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-27037856333659183002007-07-27T14:00:00.000-07:002007-07-27T14:06:08.680-07:00the time for impeachment is long past......if <a href="http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003617692">this</a> is true. If the Bush administration obstructed the investigation into Pat Tillman's death (which they did) to cover up a homicide (we shall see), then the surviving Tillmans should be allowed to don chain-mail gloves and publicly cock-punch George Bush on live TV. They should then re-enact the "E.L. gets a handjob" scene from <span style="font-style: italic;">Road Trip</span> on Dick Cheney. Then people should start getting mean.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-22926339266929294622007-07-25T08:39:00.000-07:002007-07-25T09:04:31.214-07:00faith v. worksOnce again, I highly recommend <a href="http://www.mahablog.com/">Mahablog's</a> musings on faith as it pertains to our political life. The entire series has been outstanding, but she touches briefly on one aspect that especially troubles me as a Christian.<br /><br />The Ten Commandments.<br /><br />Specifically. the mania some people have for putting the Ten Commandments in public places.<br /><br />We used to have the Ten Commandments (the TC) visible in many locations. You know where the TC used to be found? Courthouses. In the South. Where white men who claimed to live by those words were found "not guilty" of lynching and rape that everyone knew they had committed. Sometimes they were found "not guilty" <span style="font-style: italic;">because</span> everyone knew what they had done. The entire TC foofraw can be summed up by Stephen Colbert's segment with Rep. Lynn Westmoreland. You've seen it, haven't you? When Rep. Westmoreland, who apparently believes that a faux-stone copy of the TC in every foyer will cure our country of its ills, could not name even <span style="font-style: italic;">three</span> of them.<br /><br />The Ten Commandments are not a fetish. They are actually too important to be reduced to the status of trinket and charm. They are <span style="font-style: italic;">commandments</span>, directions on how to actually live your life, you know, act better and stuff. Want to see what will happen if the Ten Commandments crowd has their way? Go find your Bible. I'll wait. Now, turn to 1 Samuel 4:1-10. You can read it <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Samuel%204:1-10;&version=31;">here</a> if you don't have a Bible handy.<br /><br />When the Israelites treated God's law like it was a lucky charm, they got their asses kicked. It's tempting to think that we can come up with a simple solution to our personal problems. Otherwise, we have to admit that fixing ourselves will be hard work. It's the same with society. Sure, we have things that are broken that need to be made right, but it won't be done by a waving a magic wand, and the current campaign to install the Ten Commandments is exactly that, a magic wand. It's demeaning to treat God's revelation to man like that. You think the TC are important? Good on ya. Now stop trying to hang them in everyone's bathroom. Go out and <span style="font-style: italic;">live</span> them.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-54355404082133887922007-07-21T19:03:00.000-07:002007-07-21T19:04:27.424-07:00excellentPlease read <a href="http://www.mahablog.com/2007/07/21/the-wisdom-of-doubt-part-viii/">this</a> outstanding series over at the Mahablog. It's fantastic.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-44961315989196898392007-07-19T17:45:00.000-07:002007-07-19T17:58:23.671-07:00michael wolff may be the stupidest man alive<span style="font-style: italic;">Vanity Fair</span>'s Michael Wolff was on <span style="font-style: italic;">Hardball</span> tonight. He was on panel with Michael Erik Dyson and a woman whose name I did not catch (I will update ASAP and try to link to video as it becomes available). Wolff made one of the most absolutely out-of-touch brain-dead assertions I have ever heard in my life. He said that Oprah Winfrey was not that influential, she is "a television performer", and the possessor of "a bully pulpit among many bully pulpits."<br /><br />I'm not the biggest fan of Oprah. I think she is an exemplar and perpetrator of our crippling cult of celebrity. I will not claim that she is without influence.<br /><br />I worked at a bookstore about, oh, ten years ago. Oprah had just started publishing <span style="font-style: italic;">O</span> (I always hoped she would start a spin-off called <span style="font-style: italic;">The Big O</span>). A woman entered our store. She was well-dressed, expensively coiffed, and finely shod. She approached me.<br /><br />"Do you have <span style="font-style: italic;">O</span> magazine?" she asked.<br /><br />"We're sold out," I replied.<br /><br />I swear, her lips trembled and she began to cry. Huge tears rolled down her cheeks. I assured her that we would have more available later in the week.<br /><br />"But I need it now," she fairly wailed. Note the expression: <span style="font-style: italic;">I need it now!</span><br /><br />Is there a better capsule description for the MSM/SCLM's out-of-touch status than Wolff's assertion that Oprah is "just a television performer"?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-33341201134584530252007-06-04T07:33:00.001-07:002007-06-04T09:32:51.856-07:00book updateI'm into Chris Hedges' <span style="font-style: italic;">American Fascists</span>. Fuller thoughts when I'm done, but for now I offer one observation.<br /><br />Dominionist theology will do to the evangelical church what liberation theology did to the Roman Catholic church.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-45819631457059176852007-06-04T05:15:00.000-07:002007-06-04T10:38:36.896-07:00i do not think that word means what you think it meansIs <a href="http://www.news-leader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070604/ENTERTAINMENT/706040321/1005">Katie Couric</a> struggling in the ratings because she's a woman?<br /><br />No.<br /><br />Katie Couric is struggling in the ratings because her newscast is unwatchable. Instead of blaming the sexism of the great unwashed American public (although that's usually a good go-to position), perhaps news producers should look in the mirror. Who took all the hard news out of the news? Who decided that Paris Hilton was a worthy subject for a feature on a "news" show? Who chose to "investigate" issues by putting up a shouting head from either side of a debate, regardless of the merits of their positions? Who then gives those shouting fools ninety seconds of air time before declaring the issue at hand "explored?"<br /><br />Look at Brian Williams on NBC. His ratings are dropping like a stone down a well. Why?<br /><br />I have a theory. Whenever Williams is on <span style="font-style: italic;">The Daily Show</span> he comes across as a smart, funny, acerbic fellow with a quick, sarcastic sense of humor. He's more than capable of laughing at himself and he often makes interesting points with Jon Stewart.<br /><br />Now watch Williams on <span style="font-style: italic;">The NBC Nightly News</span>. What do you see? A stiff, smug prick. Why? Because someone, somewhere, decided that Williams' personality (the one you see on <span style="font-style: italic;">TDS</span>) might drive away potential viewers. With no thought for how an anchor with some real personality might <span style="font-style: italic;">attract</span> viewers, Williams has fallen into "serious anchor" mode. Stripped of his intelligence and excellent free-lance verbal skills, he becomes stiffer than Liberace watching Stone Phillips. The prevailing assumption, that bland is the way to go, that viewers want only the most tepid, vanilla-wafer presentation of the news, actually drives away the very folks most likely to become faithful news viewers.<br /><br />And Katie Couric is sinking in the ratings because, like Brian Williams, she looks at people who are thirsty and decides that what they really want to drink is a bucket of warm piss.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-31002392516666321712007-05-16T19:26:00.001-07:002007-05-28T10:44:24.828-07:00all's well that's falwellJerry Falwell has shuffled off this mortal coil. Many people are bleating and bloviating about what this means. Let them. To me, he is a symbol of almost everything that is wrong with the public face of Christianity in the last half of the 20th century.<br /><br />Falwell loved to lard his sermons with the phrase "the Bible alone." That phrase was a lie. Every time I heard him speak (and I heard him on TV a lot and even saw him live one time. The memory still produces faint nausea) he left the Bible in the dust. I mean, show me where the Bible says we should have a strong national defense. In truth, God forbade the Israel of antiquity from keeping a standing army. The Mosaic law demanded that land owners leave part of their fields unharvested so that the poor could eat (sounds more like commanizm than capitalism to me). Like many who claim to believe "every word in the Bible", Falwell really used that phrase as a club, a simple way to intimidate those who might disagree with him. The technique was a forerunner of the Bush administration's attempts to define any disagreement as "hating America."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/home.html">The Wittenburg Door</a> </span>is a very interesting magazine of religious satire that runs serious interviews (it was kinda <span style="font-style: italic;">The Onion</span> before there was an <span style="font-style: italic;">Onion</span>). Probably fifteen years ago Falwell's name came up. For the life of me I can't remember who the interviewee was and I can't take the time to find my bound copy of<span style="font-style: italic;"> Door</span> interviews, but I will never forget what was said.<br /><br />"Jerry Falwell has only one fault. He doesn't take sin very seriously." The interviewer sort of choked on this and asked for exposition. The reply was illuminating and it was basically this.<br /><br />Falwell didn't appreciate the depths of human depravity and deceitfulness. He only thought of sin as behavior to be altered. He did not understand that it went deeper than that, that it could warp even our best intentions. That's why he was blind to his own arrogance.<br /><br />As much as Falwell railed against sin, he basically saw America as God's country (another interviewee said that Falwell was an idolator, that what he really worshipped was the vision of America in his mind). America is never wrong; it's just a place that needs a little fixin'. His view of sin was that it was the stuff that bothered and annoyed him. In effect, sin was other people ruining his party, not an intractable condition of the heart.<br /><br />That stayed with me. I come from a Protestant tradition that believes in original sin. We humans are <span style="font-style: italic;">flawed</span>. Our best efforts will be compromised and fall short. Does that mean we don't try? No. It means that we never trust in our own goodness. We question ourselves and our motives every day. We never assume that we are above fault. It's why we establish governments and authority structures. It's why we try to fight racism and sexism, because those things are expressions of the fallen nature of man.<br /><br />Falwell preached original sin, but he didn't believe in it. He didn't believe in his <span style="font-style: italic;">own</span> sinfulness. That's why his faith never produced questions, only self-certainty. That was the source of his smugness. For all his protestations of being a sinner saved by grace, Jerry Falwell really believed that he and God were a partnership, a pretty equal partnership.<br /><br />And that's why his death means so little to me. Demagogues like him are a dime a dozen. When Tony Campolo dies, <span style="font-style: italic;">then</span> I'll mourn.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-84606894096863918312007-05-14T19:13:00.000-07:002007-05-14T19:16:57.404-07:00proof that racism has been conquered in america...Blond-headed little kid at my elementary school wore a Kansas City Chiefs jersey to school. Number 27, the number of Larry Johnson. An aide asked him if he was a fan of LJ.<br /><br />"I'm gonna <span style="font-style: italic;">be</span> LJ," he responded proudly and went on his way.<br /><br />The aide laughed and turned to a teacher. "That's funny. You know what Larry Johnson <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span>, don't you?"<br /><br />Larry Johnson, in case you didn't know or are completely blind to foreshadowing, is African-American. The aide is a graduate of a major state university. Her degree is in, I shit you not, <span style="font-style: italic;">sociology</span>.<br /><br />I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or hit myself in the nuts with a ball-peen hammer.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-29570025973995675682007-02-01T13:43:00.000-08:002010-08-14T10:35:02.360-07:00in which kathleen parker cares more for a horse than for her fellow humans<div align="justify"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://townhall.com/columnists/column.aspx?UrlTitle=but_hes_barbaro&ns=KathleenParker&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;dt=02/01/2007&page=full&comments=true">Kathleen Parker</a> is at it again. There are many wingnuts who can annoy, but for some reason Parker really crawls up my ass. While I feel for an animal that must be destroyed (I was raised rural and it brings it home), the idea that Barbaro was some sort of <i style="font-family: georgia;">national symbol</i> is just poppycock. He won <i style="font-family: georgia;">one</i>, that's <i style="font-family: georgia;">one</i> big race. He might have won more, but he broke down. A stallion with a gimpy back leg can't mount a mare. People who both loved him <i style="font-family: georgia;">and</i> stood to profit from him labored to save his life. They couldn't. That's sad, but final. Then KP has to try her hand at modern mythmaking.<br /><br />"It was a catastrophic injury that would have resulted in most horses being euthanized on the spot. But Barbaro was special, not least in his ability to inspire humans." Well, in 1872, it would have resulted in most horses being euthanized on the spot, but equine medical treatment has made a few strides in the intervening decades. It's also worth pointing out that Barbaro's owners anticipated millions in stud fees, so they probably weren't going to walk out onto the track with a single-action revolver and put him down right then and there.<br /><br /></span><p><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">"How is it that in a time of terror and war, so many could become so emotionally invested in a horse? Maybe the better question is, how could they not?" Now, this is a woman who thought that Fallujah should be glassed over with a nuclear weapon after three mercernaries were killed and their bodies burned and hung on a bridge. Therefore, a better question might be, "How could someone so eager for death and suffering ever become emotionally invested in any creature?" I'm surprised she didn't Tivo the footage of Barbaro breaking down and watch it over and over, just for grins and giggles. What sort of twisted individual can view millions of people who never did a thing to her as targets and then not only get weepy over a horse, but somehow link the destruction of said horse to her own childhood disappointment? "I didn't get my pony either."</span></span><p></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Gaaaaah!</span></span></span></span></div><p align="justify"></p><p align="justify"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">For her <i style="font-family: georgia;">piece de resistance</i> Parker tries to link Barbaro to Jane Fonda and John Kerry. She calls Barbaro "an utterly neutral reservoir of hope, beauty and determination." Yeah, and you know why we could project ourselves onto him like that, Kathleen? Because he was a frackin' horse! I swear, if Freud was still alive, this column would make him spooge in his drawers.</span></span></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-1163045352555636902006-11-08T19:31:00.000-08:002006-11-11T20:16:29.752-08:00tv grab bag<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">I've already turned up my nose at <span style="font-style: italic;">Studio 60</span>, but the rest of the TV season is still out there. Most of the shows have had enough episodes to work out the early kinks and also reveal the pretenders that just had a really good pilot. Let's take a quick overview, shall we?<br /><br />First, the no-likies. <span style="font-style: italic;">The Nine</span> got off to a quick start with a pilot that really snapped, then proceeded to just... fizzle. The show's time-shifting gambit is neither innovative or revealing (in the way it was in Soderbergh's <span style="font-style: italic;">Out of Sight</span>). Strong performances from most of the cast, especially Tim Daly, Chi McBride, and John Billingsley, but the show's concept just doesn't have legs.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Runaway</span> is already canceled, but it deserved it. If the show is about a family on the run from Johnny Law, I <span style="font-style: italic;">don't </span>think you're supposed to root for the po-po to catch the protagonists. Leslie Hope was grave as the mom, but the whole thing reeked of flop from the opening credits. So long, we won't miss ye.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;" >Standoff</span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> just irritates me. The show's tagline is "</span></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">There's no crisis situation they can't handle ... unless it involves each other." Pee-yuke. I hope Ron Livingston's banking the paychecks until his next interesting gig comes along.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Kidnapped</span> is already gone. NBC yanked it from Wednesdays, promised to burn off the eps on Saturdays, then blanched at <span style="font-style: italic;">those</span> ratings and decided the internets would be the perfect place to let the show reach resolution. Too bad. I liked <span style="font-style: italic;">Kidnapped</span>. Jeremy Sisto was very good as Knapp, a private kidnap resolution specialist, and Delroy Lindo, as usual, ruled as Latimer King, FBI agent who puts off retirement to take one more case. Timothy Hutton didn't do much as Conrad Cain, mogul father to kidnapped son, but the show did an interesting thing by refusing to follow the "cops vs. private eye" cliches. Knapp is a former FBI agent who still respects the bureau; he now has different priorities. Latimer King knows that Knapp is good and trusts him, even if King must follow a different set of procedures. These two were very good. Not so good: a minor-league Hannibal Lecter that Knapp visited in prison every third episode or so. I like to think that if the show had continued, exec producer Jason Smilovic would have gotten rid of him. <span style="font-style: italic;"> Kidnapped</span> was a minor pleasure.<br /><br />I like <span style="font-style: italic;">Heroes</span>. It's not perfect, not by a long shot, but it knows how to work a cliffhanger and the show enjoys its pulpiness. Points for a character (Hiro) who embraces his powers and really, really likes being able to stop time. The show is so much fun that I barely notice that it stars Milo Ventimiglia, an actor whose appearance makes me throw up in my own mouth.<br /><br />I grew up in a small, football-crazy town and I live in a small, football-crazy town and I will tell you that <span style="font-style: italic;">Friday Night Lights</span> gets it real good. From football action that looks realistic to soap-opera that stays on the right side of plausible, the show has heart and chops. Plus it has the smoke-hot Connie Britton.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">30 Rock</span> is an okay comedy with two huge advantages. Tracy Morgan does a wonderful, smart turn as an egocentric movie star sliding into television. Morgan is fast, funny, sly and committed to his awful character. <span style="font-style: italic;">30 Rock'</span>s crown jewel, however, is Alec Baldwin. "The Italians have a saying, Lemon. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' And though they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent automobile, in this they are correct. Mark my words, in five years we'll either all be working for him....... (looooong pause) or dead by his hand." That monologue by Baldwin is hands-down the funniest line of the year so far, and 85% of it is in the delivery. Baldwin is headed for an Emmy. A big, blustering Emmy win.<br /><br />I don't think <span style="font-style: italic;">Jericho</span> is really that good, but I'm watching. John Rogers at <a href="http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/">Kung Fu Monkey</a> put it best: "It's the best TV show of 1988!"<br /><br />I do think <span style="font-style: italic;">Ugly Betty</span> is that good. Adequately written, pleasantly twisty, and tongue so far in cheek that everyone has to mumble, <span style="font-style: italic;">UB</span> lives and dies by one person: America Ferrera. Don't mistake my meaning. Eric Mabius is very good and Vanessa Williams is a <span style="font-style: italic;">hoot</span> (as well as still seriously <span style="font-style: italic;">hot</span>), but America Ferrera has a quality that make you want to have her over for tea and to tell her everything will be all right. So far she has kept Betty grounded and believable. That's no small feat in a confection as airy as this one. When she walked into Central Park as the pilot ended and the camera craned up as KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See" came up on the soundtrack, I actually came out of my chair.<br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-1160452487711710822006-10-09T20:33:00.000-07:002006-11-08T23:59:17.857-08:00studio 60... yeah, it's monkey nuts time<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip </span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">lost me at the beginning of the first episode when the Judd Hirsch character (Wes Mendell) loses a showdown with a network geek over a sketch entitled "Crazy Christians." The stewing Mendell breaks into the show and delivers a "stinging" off-the-cuff monologue tearing TV a new one.<br /><br />What crap. Hirsch/Mendell is a grizzled veteran, the producer of a long-running, successful TV show. The idea that this guy would make a principled stand for something as abstract as "art" is laughable. He might behave badly because he resented being put in his place by a flunkie twenty-five years his junior, but for "art?" Hey, when was the last time Lorne Michaels looked like he was concerned about anything other than his next dinner reservation at a five-star restaurant. <span style="font-style: italic;">Studio 60</span> pretends to take us backstage, but it really takes us to FantasyLand.<br /><br />Next, the impromptu diatribe is supposed to be a national <span style="font-style: italic;">contretemps. </span>Riiiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhttt. Sure, it would play round-the-clock on YouTube, but aside from providing great material for Letterman and Conan, there would be zero impact. Also, does anyone believe that "Crazy Christians" was really that funny? Probably more like that lame "Hillbilly Clinic" sketch that they can't seem to get enough of at SNL.<br /><br />Third, Amanda Peet plays a network president who apparently has <span style="font-style: italic;">no other responsibilities</span> other than mother-henning this show. Maybe if she was the exec producer, but the network prez?<br /><br />Fourth, Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford look too much alike. It's creepy. Stop it.<br /><br />Fifth, stop the "smoldering love affair" between Harriet (Sarah Paulson) and Matt (Perry). This story line is an anchor. It stops the show colder than Horatio Sanz "cracking up" during <span style="font-style: italic;">every single sketch in which he appears</span> on SNL. Paulson and Perry have the same intense chemistry visible between Mr. T and George Peppard on <span style="font-style: italic;">The A Team</span>. While we're at it, why is it important that Harriet be a Christian? It's not even a facet of her character; it's more like a tic or a temporary tattoo. As a Christian, I'm more offended by this tepid biscuit that supposed to make the show seem "balanced", "nuanced", "complex", or whatever it's supposed to do than I would be by the actual airing of "Crazy Christians". The character is supposedly based on Kristin Chenoweth, but Chenoweth works on <span style="font-style: italic;">Broadway</span>. That's a completely different environment than TV and if you don't believe me, watch Chenoweth, who is a legitimately galvanizing stage performer, on TV. She's terrible. I don't buy Harriet as a great talent, as a committed Christian, or as a human being who has any kind of conflict between her faith and her profession. Paulson is a fine actress, but she is so miscast that I don't believe she can overcome these obstacles.<br /><br />I will continue to watch. Why? Because in spite of all this, when Sorkin gets his little dialogue windmill going, it is always entertaining. Not smart, not complex, not many of the adjectives people use to describe his writing, but entertaining. Unlike <span style="font-style: italic;">The West Wing</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Studio 60</span> does not linger. <span style="font-style: italic;">The West Wing</span> often felt as if you were watching something important. <span style="font-style: italic;">Sports Night</span>, Sorkin's first show (it had faults, but it also had the brilliant episode "Draft Day") was sleek and attractive compared to the drivel around it. <span style="font-style: italic;">Studio 60</span> sort of sits in the middle; self-important, a show ostensibly about comedy that doesn't even attempt to capture the whirlwind rush produced by making people laugh.<br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-1159735637714850072006-10-01T11:12:00.000-07:002007-05-12T18:42:06.948-07:00a change in emphasis<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Since the fall TV schedule is now well and truly under way, I was planning a post about the new season. You know, what shows I like and dislike, which "critical favorites" actually suck monkey nuts, that sort of thing. Not today. No, not today.<br /><br />Rep. Mark Foley pretty much put paid to the idea. Actually, Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) and Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) put paid to it. The incipient predatory sex scandal is such a succinct summation of the last six years that it's almost hermetic in its perfection.<br /><br />Homosexuality plays a part in this affair. Even people who try to be fair about the place of gay people in society may experience a physical discomfort with the actual notion of gay sex. That's not homophobic; it's human nature to be uncomfortable with something that is foreign to us. Still, it seems to me that many anti-gay sentiments are almost comical in their shrillness. I go to church with a guy who constantly gets worked up about what "the queers" are doing to the country. His long tirades about how disgusted he is at the thought of "them doin' it" worry me. See, I don't think about gay people doin' it. I don't think about the straight people I know doin' it, because if I did conjure a mental picture of some of the couples I know engaged in sweaty sexual congress, I would be forced to heat a barbecue fork until it glowed cherry-red and then gouge out my own eyes. Hey, I don't even want to picture what <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> look like doin' it. I just wanna do it.<br /><br />I worked for years at a bookstore. One of the assistant managers was gay. We closed the store many nights. At no time did I think he was peeking over the counter to check me out as I restocked the magazines. That's not the way it works. I may have many beliefs about homosexuality, but I'm pretty sure that the average gay man does not try to recruit straights. It occurs to me that many of the most extreme partisans on either side of the issue end up agreeing. Another gay employee at the bookstore held the firm belief that <span style="font-style: italic;">everyone</span> is gay and that heteros just haven't discovered it yet. Right-wing culture bloviators have waxed eloquent at length that if we don't fight tooth and nail for heterosexuality, we will all <span style="font-style: italic;">turn</span> gay because, I guess, the gay is irresistible. See, more unites us than divides us.<br /><br />Finally, the Foley scandal isn't even really about homosexuality. It's about hypocrisy, predation and hubris. Foley isn't a hypocrite because he's gay; he and his fellow Republicans are hypocrites because they made their bones demonizing gay Americans. It's about predation not because F0ley is gay, but because he used his position of power to make sexual advances to those over whom he exercised that power. It's about hubris because these fat bastards thought they could get away with it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Update:</span> They might get away with it. The mighty evangelical "values" team seems to have suddenly discovered the right to privacy and the idea of personal, rather than collective morality.<br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32466776.post-1159415939030309902006-09-27T19:35:00.000-07:002006-11-08T23:59:17.502-08:00in which laura ingraham and i finally see eye to eye<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Laura Ingraham claims that the high ratings for <span style="font-style: italic;">24</span> prove that Americans are in favor of torture. I am elated. Not that I'm in favor of torture, but the right-wingers have finally come over to my way of thinking. If enough people want something, then that makes it okay.<br /><br />That really opens the vistas for an economic revival that will sweep us all into McMansions. After all, if enough Americans want man-on-dog sex, then it's okay for Rick Santorum to provide it (regardless of where you stand on gay marriage, I find it interesting that the first place most conservatives go to is man-on-<span style="font-style: italic;">fill in your favorite animal here</span>). In my neck of the woods, a lot of people seem to think meth is okay. Now that it will become legal and morally acceptable to cook crank, I'll finally be able to buy Benadryl without having a tracking chip implanted into my earlobe.<br /><br />Plus, Ingraham's admission means I can go to church without chanting <span style="font-style: italic;">"neener-neener"</span> whenever someone starts to bloviate about the Bush administration's commitment to unshakeable moral truth and standards. I guess moral relativism in the defense of liberty is no vice, although it's a piss-poor slogan.<br /><br /><a href="http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/">Digby</a> has an excellent post on this conundrum. It's called "Faith-Based Torture." It's excellent.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0